"There's a Hungarian proverb that says, 'Do not paint the devil on the wall, for it will appear,' " says Agnes Beregszászi, a sex columnist in Hungary. Translation: The area of the brain responsible for triggering orgasm is engaged whether you're trying to have one or halt one.
The more attention you pay to your orgasm, the more likely it is to arrive. So concentrate on gauging your partner's response to each move instead—did she "oooh" or "ehh"?—until you find her sweet spot.
"Good sex is like driving to a faraway city," says Beregszászi. "You know your destination, but you need to concentrate on the road ahead of you—turn left here, turn right there. If you focus on what's happening now—her silky thighs on your hips, say—you can diffuse your pleasure throughout your whole body."
Oh, and she'll love it: "When my boyfriend slows down, I feel every bit of him," says Petra, a 30-year-old receptionist in Belgium. "It helps me focus on the sensation, and really puts me over the top when he begins to speed up again."
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