The World's Best Sex Tips (Part 3)- Craft an Invitation that Works

"A woman who's dressed to thrill is less likely to go home with you," says Emily Dubberley, a British sex expert and the author of Brief Encounters: The Woman's Guide to Casual Sex. "You don't want to be the third of 25 guys to approach her that evening."

Instead, go for the woman in the background. "She's with a friend or two, both of whom are brighter, brasher, and louder than she is," says Dubberley.

And remember: "A woman needs to feel as though it's a passionate one-off, not planned," says Pam Spurr, a United Kingdom–based sex expert and the author of Sinful Sex: The Uninhibited Guide to Erotic Pleasure.

This depends on how you ask her to come home with you. "Coffee at my place?" is too stark a transition, because it suggests the party's ending. Instead, try "I've got a bottle of wine in the fridge at home—could we carry on this conversation back there?" This suggests a continuation of the fun.

"It's honest and exciting, and the notion of a man with wine in the fridge is encouraging," says Spurr. "Make sure you have fresh towels in the bathroom and clean sheets on your bed, too.

The World's Best Sex Tips (Part 2)- Make It Easy for Her.

You catch her eye from across the room. Now what? "Playing games wastes everyone's time," says Nikki Hayia, sex editor at Men's Health Greece. "Women prefer a man who knows what he wants, especially if what he wants is us."

Use body positioning to advertise your confidence, suggests Helen Fisher, a research professor in the anthropology department at Rutgers University, in New Jersey. If you're sitting, keep an open position—legs apart, head up, chest out, back straight. If you're standing, position your shoulders toward her while turning your head toward your conversational partner.

Mirror her actions to signal your attention—when she drinks, you drink. When she changes her body position, so do you. If you see that you and she are moving in tandem, to a beat, then it's time to make your move. "I know whether I'm attracted to you, so I don't need a pickup line," says Sara, a 28-year-old bartender in South Africa. "Just introduce yourself."

The World's Best Sex Tips (Part 1)- overview

When it comes to wooing women, men aren't perfect. But perhaps guys are more selfless than their rep suggests.

Men's Health asked readers from all 35 international editions—our largest global survey ever—what sexual skills they'd most like to improve. The most common answers: seducing a woman more effectively and bringing her to orgasm every time.

Of course, there's another way to read this. It could be that men from Argentina to Ukraine simply realize that our pleasure rises and falls with hers—that by stoking her fires, they'll have hotter sex more often.

To that end, we interviewed hundreds of women and sex experts from around the globe. The result is what follows: an expert lesson in the universal language of lust.

Date the Girl You Think You Can't Have – Part 1

A Friend's Ex

Resist the urge. Date these women at your own risk.

Number who have indulged:25 percent of men, 23 percent of women

Why you want her:Your buddy has extolled her virtues so relentlessly, she's become the woman of your dreams, too. "He's basically given you a sales pitch for his girlfriend," says Amy Bippus, Ph.D., a professor of communication studies at California State University at Long Beach.

What to consider:If the separation wasn't mutual, beware. "There's no bigger blow to a man's self-esteem than to be rejected in favor of a friend," says Judy Kuriansky, Ph.D., author ofThe Complete Idiot's Guide to Dating.

What to do:If you must act, stay away until he has moved on to another love interest. "There's a psychological threshold that's crossed when a person takes up a new relationship," says Kerner. "Plus, you don't want to look like a scavenger."

23 Ways to Be the Man She Wants

1.You can put down the weights and the protein shakes. You might want us to be perfect looking; we simply want you not to be fat.

2.Replace all of those hideous size-extra-large T-shirts with something that actually sort of fits. We think you might be a medium.

3.Never allow anyone who listens to baseball on the radio to cut your hair.

4.Purchase sheets that don't contain polyester and that are white.

5.Blue Book value isn't everything. Take the money you were going to spend putting the backseat DVD theater in your Honda and buy a nice pair of shoes.

6.We don't care what the plan is. Just have one.

7.Candles. They are so cheap and they are so effective.

8.When you give her a gift, include a card. You can spend less on the gift if you write something nice. Don't buy a card with a message in it, unless you're dating Danielle Steele.

9.She arrives home from work eager for attention. You arrive home from work eager for several beers and theSimpsons-King of the Hillhour. The moment you come home, hug her, look into her eyes, and say that you're happy to see her. This simple gesture, done with sincerity, will earn you lots of time on the couch.

10.Buy covered garbage cans for your kitchen and bathroom. They hide stuff we don't want to know about anyway.

11.Make a list entitled "Intolerable Behavior from Women," and when you see it happening, speak up. Let us know you won't be around no matter what, and we'll want to keep you.

12.Drive a stick shift. Men look ineffectual driving automatics

13.Never utter the phrase, "I know I'm no Brad Pitt/Denzel Washington." You're a guy. Merely acting like you think you're hot makes you hot. Be grateful, because women actually have to be hot to be hot.

14.Short sleeves are for golf only; sandals are for Jesus only.

15.When a woman asks you to accompany her to a wedding or a family event, R.S.V.P. within 24 hours. If you find that you can't commit, do everyone a favor and break it off.

16.Stop operating on the in-trouble/not-in-trouble paradigm. Just because we're not yelling at you doesn't mean everything is okay.

17.If you're late, call.

18.Brush your teeth a lot.

19.Realize that if you "keep forgetting" to trim your nose hairs, we will "keep forgetting" to initiate sex.

20.If your television is of a size such that it is regularly commented on, hide it in a cabinet. You might have a penchant for a) sloth, b) passivity, or c) tuning out the world, but she need not be reminded of this every time she walks into your living room.

21.You might not know what she wants you to get her for her birthday, but her friends do. Ask them.

22.When we are together, sometimes we are occupied with tasks—closing a window, putting on a new CD, petting the cat—that cause us to focus our gaze elsewhere. May we suggest these windows of time as the most favorable for scratching your balls.

23.Buy a Swiffer and use it. They come in dry (living room) and wet (kitchen and bathroom). Wash your dishes. Pick up your clothes. Swiff. She'll think you're a responsible adult.

Abusive Relationships Are Like An Ice Cream Sundae...

One thing I tend to do is to think in big pictures.  When people are being grossed out by a specific event, I marvel at how it relates and contributes to the rest of society. 
For example, let's look at the classic ice cream sundae.  Even when I was a kid, I never understood the point of those colorful sprinkles that everybody always put on their sundae.  Sure they were colorful.  Sure it made your dessert extra pretty.  However, looking at the bigger picture; no matter how many sprinkles you put on that sundae, the sundae won't get any tastier, it won't get any less fattening, and you will still regret eating it afterward.
In short, it's still a sundae.  Yum!

Correct Your Mistakes and Be a Better Lover

    

You know how public pools post lists of unacceptable behavior? Don't run, don't dive, don't vomit a New York strip steak and a bottle of cabernet franc into our brand-new filtration system. Be assured that this is the last time I will ever liken my vagina to a public pool, but I've always thought how great it would be to post something similar in my own bedroom.
Look, we love that you love having sex with us, and we love having sex with you, too. But sometimes you do things that we don't like. Weird things. Things that you think are going to make us groan with gratitude and pleasure but really make us want to roll over and turn on the TV.
Luckily, these mistakes generally result not from lack of skill but from wrong information. You can easily unlearn them. Remember: I probably know what I like better than you do.
And if I had a bedroom sign, this is how it might read.

4 Love Lessons from Romantic Comedies

Romantic comedies spread misconceptions, according to a new study. Here's what your girlfriend may have mislearned, and how you can write a happier ending.
1. False message: Bad behavior has no long-term consequences
In My Best Friend's Girl, Dane Cook and Kate Hudson split after he intentionally pukes at a wedding and propositions her mom. But they're soon back together.
In real life: Here's when to build forgiveness: long before you screw up. Compli­ment her often. Show her you're trustworthy. She'll be quicker to forgive you if she has high self-esteem and trusts that you mean well, according to a study in the journal Personal Relationships. And you can affect those things.

2. False message: Gratuitous public displays of affection are proof of a strong relationship
In Must Love Dogs, John Cusack and Diane Lane suddenly kiss in the middle of a chat with a supermarket employee. Passionately. It's love!
In real life: According to a poll we took of 500 women, 67 percent said PDA is important—and over half said that if you were to shy away from them in public, they'd take it personally. Sound like high expectations? It isn't. Just hold her hand and give quick, public kisses. That's all 98 percent of women said they want.

3. False message: Arguing is destructive and almost always leads to a breakup
In Knocked Up, Seth Rogen and Katherine Heigl argue in a car. She kicks him out. They argue again a few minutes later, and then break up. Cue the crying.
In real life: Expressing negative emotions can heighten intimacy, according to a study in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. But if you're mad at her, hit the Xbox first. An Iowa State University study found that people who distract themselves before an argument end up less angry.

4. False message: Early love is true, lasting love
In The Holiday, Jude Law professes his love for Cameron Diaz 2 weeks after they meet. She almost leaves him, but abandons her future plans for herself in order to stay with him. Cue audience crying. Or groaning.
In real life: Wrap your head around this: 42 percent of the women we surveyed believe a couple can be in love after 2 weeks, but almost none of them want a guy to say, "I love you" that soon. They prefer you to say it at around 6 months—about when they said their sex drives return to normal. Coincidence? Perhaps.

Seduce Her in 10 Minutes

Many things run through a woman's mind when you meet. Here's how to go from "hello" to "oh my."

1. Your Approach
Her brain quickly vets your height and facial symmetry the moment you meet. Now convince her of your character. Approach confidently; don't pretend to bump into her. "Men tend to talk to each other at angles to avoid confrontation," says Rutgers University anthropologist Helen Fisher, Ph.D., author ofWhy We Love. "But women face each other head-on and maintain eye contact."

2. Your Introduction
A good handshake isn't a shortcut to her bed, but a bad one can doom you. Hands are loaded with tactile nerves, and people with weak, clammy handshakes were perceived as shy and neurotic in a recent University of Alabama study. So hold your drink in your left hand and give her a firm but not bone-crushing grasp. Pay attention to her grip as well: The same study showed that women who give firmer handshakes tend to be more adventurous.

3. Your Voice
The most attractive women prefer deep-voiced men, according to a recent study by Scottish researchers. It suggests high testosterone levels, a sign of strength and reproductive prowess. Push out air with your diaphragm, not your throat. This lengthens the column of air moving past your vocal cords. "It's like a built-in subwoofer," says voice coach Joanne Joella.

4. Your Icebreaker
Say something that will draw out details about her. "Your friends seem nice—how did you get to know them?" is a compliment and a window into her past. Forming a bond will release dopamine, a mood booster in her brain. Show off your interest with verbal nods of agreement ("uh-huh," "go on"), adds Alex Pentland, Ph.D., an MIT professor who designed software that assesses whether speed daters are feeling sparks.

5. Your Conversation
We all know to ask lots of questions and to avoid flat-out boasting. But don't sell yourself short. "Women listen very carefully for signs of status and wealth," says Fisher. Keep any references to financial or personal success oblique, though—let her curiosity draw out the details. Another crucial conversation tip: Talk at the same pace she does and she'll consider you intelligent, kind, con-fident, and ambitious, according to a University of Maryland study.

6. Your Body Language
Attraction causes couples to mirror each other's body language. But don't be overeager to connect. Stay relaxed and let her set the tone, says Lisa Clampett, founder of the Matchmaking Institute. Fidgeting conveys nervousness and triggers the empathetic release of stress chemicals in her brain. "Once she brushes your shoulder or thigh, reciprocate within a minute or two," Fisher says. Or touch her inner forearm, a nerve-rich zone that will create sparks.

7. Your Deal Closer
If you've made the right sort of first impression, she might be wondering how you are in bed. "Consciously or not," says Fisher, "she's looking for signs that you're patient and sensitive to the ways her body finds pleasure." So talk her through the jukebox options. Handle the darts delicately. Call out the scent notes of a bottle of wine. Show refined tastes in these areas and she'll suspect you have others worth exploring—back at her place.

The Top 10 Signs She's Interested in You

Some women go out looking for sex. Here's how to find them and make it happen.

1. She's Chatting Up the Bartender
A flirtatious woman can hardly contain herself. She won't let a male waiter or bartender take her order without flashing a smile and saying something silly, like, "What can you make me that would be really yummy?"

2. She's Scanning the Room
When women go out to bond with friends, they have blinders on. If they're not looking around, don't bug them. But when they want to mingle, they'll be scanning for cute men. They may even sit facing the room instead of each other.

3. She's Playing Games
Darts, pool, pinball—women know this makes them easier to approach. That's why they do it. It's easy to get a man's attention when you're about to jab him in the ribs with a pool cue.

4. Her Drink is Big, Frozen, and Blue
She's ready to party, which means meeting new people and having a good time, not getting naked with the first guy who buys her another round. But sometimes it does mean getting naked with the first hot, cool guy who buys her another round.

5. She Sends You a Zoolander Eye Lock
And the eyebrow raise, and/or at least two smiles (full, open-lipped, teeth smiles). Go over there and talk to her already. Caveat: There's a small chance she just thinks you're funny looking, but go ahead, have some balls. She's worth it.

6. Her Pupils are Dilated
If she's feeling stimulated by you (not just sexually), her pupils will dilate. That's because her body is programmed to want to see more of whatever's exciting her, so her brain tells her irises to let in more light. Time to make your move.

7. She Lets You Get Close
As you flirt, stand or sit within 6 inches of her. If she seems unruffled, move closer. Eventually you want your thigh to be pressed against hers, whether you're standing or sitting. If she's into it, she won't back off.

8. She's a Chatterbox
If she leans forward when you're talking or asks you endless questions, the only way to shut her up is to kiss her.

9. She Uses Her Tongue
A make-out session is a prerequisite to any sexual proposition. Kiss her lips softly and note how intensely she's kissing back. You want the "I want to eat you alive" kind of kiss, not the sweet "I'm not a dirty girl" kind of kiss.

10. She's Wearing Thigh-High Stockings
Women only wear sexy underthings when they're expecting a man to see them. If she's wearing a thong, she's trying to avoid panty lines, but sex is on her mind, too. Anything black, red, pink, leopard print, or lace equals "I want you."

What to Tell Her During Difficult Conversations

 

Tricky moments in any relationship can leave you at a loss for words, but sometimes you have to speak up. "Silence is deadly," says Howard Markman, Ph.D., who runs workshops and retreats for couples as vice president of Love Your Relationship, Inc. "A man has to take responsibility when his silence is troublesome."
To make matters worse, men who say less than their wives actually become more stressed when she gets upset, according to a recent study.
In the following situations, talking isn't negotiable. Use these scripts and start the dialogue.

Touch Her Here to Increase Her Pleasure

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