"A woman who's dressed to thrill is less likely to go home with you," says Emily Dubberley, a British sex expert and the author of Brief Encounters: The Woman's Guide to Casual Sex. "You don't want to be the third of 25 guys to approach her that evening."
Instead, go for the woman in the background. "She's with a friend or two, both of whom are brighter, brasher, and louder than she is," says Dubberley.
And remember: "A woman needs to feel as though it's a passionate one-off, not planned," says Pam Spurr, a United Kingdom–based sex expert and the author of Sinful Sex: The Uninhibited Guide to Erotic Pleasure.
This depends on how you ask her to come home with you. "Coffee at my place?" is too stark a transition, because it suggests the party's ending. Instead, try "I've got a bottle of wine in the fridge at home—could we carry on this conversation back there?" This suggests a continuation of the fun.
"It's honest and exciting, and the notion of a man with wine in the fridge is encouraging," says Spurr. "Make sure you have fresh towels in the bathroom and clean sheets on your bed, too.
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